We spent the morning with Max, giving him his 10am bottle at 9am as he was so hungry (he took 40ml), and so we asked for his daily volume to be increased. Now he is on 90ml 4-hourly. Apparently he actually took an entire 75ml bottle at 6am, so we were very impressed. I also put Max's 'neggie shoes' on him - booties I knitted when he was still inside (an - egg, a - negg, neggie - get it?). Very cute, and they only just fit.
Then, we went to the funeral of the beautiful Amelia - another little one who came through the unit (and whose parents & grandparents we know). She wasn't prem, but had some serious birth complications, but despite all odds managed to live for 12 days, five of them at home with her mummy and daddy. The funeral was, of course, extremely emotional and confronting. I have already attended an infant funeral this year, but it was Mark's first. The size of the coffin was just so immediate and telling, and we were both so conflicted in our feelings it was very hard to express, even to each other, what we were feeling. However, the eulogy was lovely, there was an enchanting photo of Amelia next to her coffin, and her grandfather spoke, which really was so amazing. An extraordinary couple, and family.
When we returned to the unit (we held Max just that bit closer), we were giving him his next feed when another baby, who we know quite well, had a very bad turn. He is now back in Level 3, and while we assure staff we're OK, we are both very shaken. We are very worried something like that may happen to Max. However, we are assured that Max's lungs aren't as bad as his little buddy's, and Max is tracking well. We're still very shaken. My hands actually were shaking at the time - thank goodness Mark was holding Max.
In the evening we attended a session for parents of premature babies on what to expect, including going home. It was good, but I wish we'd gone to an earlier session (they are held every month), as there was a lot on what to do with your premmie while in the unit - and we're kind of past that point. But, there was some bits on developmental milestones we should be working towards, and a couple brought their little one in to show 'they do grow up'! Little Matthew stole the show - 15 months old, six week prem, and doing fine. He babbled and showed off his new crawling skills. All were enchanted.
We then gave Max his 9pm feed (40ml), and went home, very subdued. A horribly confronting and emotional day. My eyes hurt, my nose is red, and my head is pounding.
No comments:
Post a Comment