31 March

Max was quite unsettled and irritable overnight. Basically, they think he was hungry (as he wasn't on any oral feeds). So, he was given a bit of 'comfort food' - he actually took two lots of 20ml from the bottle! After that they said he was a bit better.

He seemed to desaurate an awful lot, and to me he seemed to need quite high oxygen amounts compared to when he was on intra-nasal, but the consultants seemed quite OK with the numbers. Just when I think I'm getting my head around the whole breathing process and all the different oxygen/CO2/lung issues Max has to deal with, this comes along, and I'm totally thrown. I feel a bit like I did back at the beginning - just trust what the staff say. I really want to understand, but I think now we are at a good 'layman's level', and to understand why descisions are made for Max now, we need to have the knowledge and experience that the staff do - to make a good balanced judgement.

Anyway, Max is back on full feeds (actually I gave him a bottle (he took 20ml) before I was told that all feeds should simply be gavaged today!), and loving it. He is also back on infra-nasal, and is not desaturating at all (or hardly at all). He is breathing a bit deeper, but there is still a bit of nasal mucous to suction out now and then. He is a bit more like his old self, and today was awake (and calm) an awful lot.

His bottom, which was so bad it was ulcerated, is healing up well. He is also processing food much better at the moment, and is now on the monogyn formula. I have decided to stop expressing milk and abandon my ideas about breastfeeding. I simply think I'll never be able to produce enough to supply what Max needs. It would have been lovely, but I realise I'm just luck to have a baby to feed at all. Anyway, there are two freezers full of bottles to get through before he's on normal formula!


This photo is from yesterday when we were putting him back on CPAP - for a moment he had no tubes in his face! (The tape on his cheeks is the duoderm ("second skin") to which his tubes are taped - this actually protects the skin on his face from constantly having tape put on and pulled off.)