Monday, January 29, 2007

3 January

Horrible morning for me. He’d had a reasonably good night, but while I was there he had some big desats and a bad blood gas. No real reason – so they worked with hand respirators and suction to bring him back up.
I was really shaken. The counsellor, Deb, was there with me. I can’t remember all I said with her, but I was a bit of a wreck. Basically I want someone to say ‘It’s OK, he’s not going to die’ and then I could cope with what’s going on. I know they can’t say that, though – but I still wish they could.
I’m a bit sick of this game now. I want to have him big and well – I want him home.

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