18 January

Day 58. Mark went to work directly from the hospital, so both of us were up at 4.30am. I went in to see Max – he’s looking good, nice colour and reasonable stats. He’d had a good blood gas and the new x-ray shows a little less cloudiness. He opened his eyes for me! Keep fighting Max. Thank the Lord for answered prayer.

Afternoon – went to Lewis’s funeral this morning. Such a lovely service, taken by the chaplain from the Women’s and Children’s Hospital. Amanda gave the eulogy herself – a lovely and heartrending tribute. There were lots of staff from FMC, including Margaret (chaplain) and Dr Simon. Many people were concerned for me, so I tried to leave as soon afterwards as I could – it’s not about me.

I tried hard to think about Jodie, Amanda and Lewis, but couldn’t help occasionally thinking about Max. Curiously, though, I went away feeling that if we have to, we could do that event for Max.

Got back to FMC and found Max doing well – 50% of the time he’s in 92-97% saturations and a further 18% of the time he’s in 88-92% - so most encouraging.

I have begun ‘quiet times’ again. Probably a bit irregular, but they are really special times, and are certainly giving me plenty of hope, and plenty to think about.